Give It To Me, Baby - Top 12 Christmas Gifts

Christmas is a great time of year; not only do you get to gorge yourself silly on fattening foods and drink litres of alcohol without being admitted to AA, but you get to write a Christmas wish-list without feeling at all materialistic, hedonistic or guilty. What could be better? So long as you’ve been a good boy – and we’re sure everyone has been, if not for the occasional blip – you’re guaranteed a sack full of expensive pressies come Christmas morning. Not sure what to ask for? Allow us to do the hard work with our nifty cut-out and print wish list – all you have to do is sign it and send it to the fat man himself.




“Dear Santa,

This year for Christmas, I’d like –


1. Radio Control Dalek
  Enabling you to live out your Dr Who fantasy, the 12-inch radio control Dalek features 360-degree travel, flashing lights, automated head and eye movement with moveable gun and arm and speech with seven different phrases, including, of course, “You will be exterminated!” Perfect for terrorising household pets with – or your grandma, depending on who’s more vulnerable – the Dalek is the perfect fit for sci-fi boys who love their toys.
www.amazon.com


2. Razor RipStick Carver Board
  Great for exercising without actually realising that you are, the Razor RipStik enables you to experience the carving thrill of surfing and snowboarding right on dry land. Featuring a twisting motion, the RipStick moves across the surface without you ever pushing off from the ground. Using traction plates to control the caster board, all you need to do is twist and go! So wear your baggies, don your shades and impress the ladies with your big, er, stick.
www.ripstikusa.com


3. Name A Star
  A unique gift if ever there was one, naming a star is the perfect gift if you have world domination set in your sights. With the International Star Registry, you’ll receive a star with the name of your choice, a framed parchment certificate, a dedication date and the telescopic coordinates of your star so that you can spy it on it by night and see if any UFO is on your patch. Then, with a carefully placed rocket, you can blast the sucker back to where it came from and act as territorial as you please
www.starregistry.com


4. Nobility Title
  If you weren’t lucky enough to be born into aristocracy, there’s nothing to say that you can’t buy your way in. A great idea for social climbers, as part of your nobility package you’ll receive the title of your choice – whether that be Lord, Duke or, er, Lady – all the necessary legal documents and a framed certificate to show off to your friends. Receive the gift of getting ahead this year.
www.regaltitles.com


5. Singstar Game
  If you’ve always fancied yourself as a bit of a rockstar, then what better way to get your groove on then with the Singstar game for your shiny new Playstation 3? Packaged with two microphones, you and a buddy will be able to rock out your living room while pretending to be Ozzy Osbourne and Axel Rose – though preferably not together as a duet. www.singstargame.com


6. Digital Photo Frame
  We all know that displaying your bachelor party photos in an album is girly and very uncool – but we still want people to see them. Why not ask for a digital photo frame, enabling you to display your snaps in a way that is macho, tech-savvy and ultra-stylish? After all, it isn’t only our cameras that have gone digital. Simple plug your camera’s memory card into the side and voila! All your unsightly pictures are displayed magically inside the frame, whether you like them scrolling or still.
www.digitalphotoframe.org


7. Adopt An Olive Tree
  While the likes of Angelina Jolie and Madonna are doing their best to adopt every abandoned child in Africa – with or without their parents’ consent - those with an interest in saving the planet from imminent doom are adopting olive trees. Nudo - an Italian olive grove - are offering people the chance to adopt their very own olive tree for an entire year. At the end of the year, you’ll receive its harvest. Over the years, the farming of olives is becoming more mechanised, and your contribution to the grove will help support small, artisan farming. Just imagine dipping warm, crusty bread into your very own olive oil, basking on a hill somewhere in Italy. Get someone to buy you a tree this year, without the decorations!
www.nudo-italia.com


8. Playboy Passport
  When he’s not lounging about in his dressing gown at the Mansion with a bevy of beautiful silicone-enhanced women, Hugh Hefner does actually have his uses. Take the Playboy Passport, for instance. For an annual fee of $10,000 you can enjoy all the privileges of being in a members-only concierge club, including access to exclusive dining, nightlife and travel options, in addition to invitations to special events and parties. Holders of the Playboy Passport will also be able to go behind-the-scenes of Playboy photo shoots – worth the $10,000 alone, don’t you agree? Surrounded by gorgeous women, this is a stocking filler like no other.
www.playboypassport.com


9. Trendy Portrait
  While there’s probably nothing vainer, getting your ugly mug printed onto an extra-large canvas for your wall is undeniable cool. In fact, it’s the type of thing you can probably imagine Brad Pitt has hanging in his LA home already. Using your photo as the basis for the design, Trendy Portrait can produce a variety of Warhol-inspired prints, including photos, canvases, wedding invitations and personalised email signatures. Simply upload your photo to the website and select your style for the ultimate in self-love.
www.trendyportrait.com


10. iPhone
  If you still haven’t got yourself an Apple iPhone, then it’s about time you were given one. The most talked-about phone of the year, the iPhone allows you to make calls and send messages simply by sliding your fingers across the screen – no fiddly buttons necessary! Features include a camera, portable music player, visual voicemail, email, Internet browsing capability and Wi-Fi connectivity. It’s so cool, your iBook may become redundant.
www.apple.com/iphone/


11. The Planets By Urban Fidelity
  No, not the actual planets – Mars, Jupiter, Venus, Uranus etc. – but a stylish set of speakers from Urban Fidelity. Able to reproduce the concert experience by sending the full musical quality to every person in the room using omni dispersion, The Planets are the brainchild of acoustic designer Markus Duevel and we thank him from the bottom of our black hearts. If you see anything sphere-shaped under your tree, just hope and prey it’s these chrome babies.
www.urbanfidelity.com


12. The Memory Infinities by Yanko Design
  There are endless possibilities when its comes to USB drive design, from the practical through to the downright absurd. However, Vicky Wei’s concept for Yanko Design combines the two. Available in a number of colourful choices, The Memory Infinities are bendy and when one runs out of memory you simply stick another to the end and increase its capacity. Brilliant and beautiful all at the same time.
www.yankodesign.com

Thank you!”

Signed:

About the author:

  Nick studied at Sussex University and graduated with a degree in English Literature and Media Studies. When he’s not writing – which isn’t often – he enjoys spending time with friends and family, watching movies, downloading music, eating out and travelling as much as he possibly can; Marbella, Miami, London and Phuket are his favourite places in the world.

  Nick has worked on a number of newspapers, magazines and websites – including Caché, Colures and AskMen.com - and specialises in popular culture, luxury and travel. He particularly enjoys writing about all that is beautiful in the world, including luxury hotels, trendy restaurants andthe latest gadgetry for the home. If it’s hip and gorgeous, Nick will have something to say about it.

  He is currently working on his first children’s book, which hasgenerated interest from a number of London-based publishers, and runs his own online magazine at www.gunpowder-magazine.com.